Last July 31 I woke up in the middle of the night knowing that something was terribly wrong. Feeling extremely nauseous and dizzy, I only remember hearing a voice tell me “Everything’s going to be all right” just as I opened my eyes. It is that message that has kept me calm and patient as I have worked on steadily healing my mind and body. That night I had a stroke. Well, actually two strokes. But this blog isn’t about my physical recovery, which luckily has been relatively easy to manage and is still a work in progress, this blog is about how grateful and lucky I feel to have had this stroke and how it has shifted my life in so many amazing and wonderfully blessed ways. Ways I want to share with you.
Eight months post-July 31st and I am feeling more in touch with my true Self each day, more in touch with my soul and what my Self truly wants out of life. During this past year, I have found a mentor and many teachers along the way to help begin opening up my world to a new understanding and new way of approaching living my life with more hope and faith. One of my teachers told me that my purpose in this lifetime was just to be happy. I thought, “Well, aren’t I lucky!” How easy can that be? Actually, I am finding it one of the most challenging concepts to live out. Figuring out what makes me happy is a work in progress. Part of being happy is being at peace and finding joy in each moment. Each day I strive to affirm my gratitude for the life I have and for the many gifts I have been given in this lifetime. But I am human, I do have an ego driving me at times to choices that do not necessarily feed my joy. Now, I explore what the motivations are behind these various forces that are driving me to my choices. Am I doing these things or walking this path because of my own desires or am I walking this path because of familial expectations, social pressures, expected gender roles, fear of judgment, …? There are so many forces which can motivate you to action. Deciding which ones are true to your Self and truly bring you joy and offer you opportunities to grow and create can be extremely challenging and painful to honestly determine. The stroke was truly a gift. It freed me to truly relax, go with the flow, and have faith that if I take a leap of faith something or someone will be there to lift me up and give me a solid perch to rest and grow. There are always choices in life and I choose now to make mine consciously and without fear. Being happy and living a life of joy demand that you are brutally honest with yourself, that you are true to only yourself, you live your life according to your dreams and no one else’s. Faith and hope guide me along the way. This blog is one of my first leaps of faith with many more to come this year. As I walk this path, I hope to meet some of you along the way. We can walk our paths side by side and wish each other strength and happiness as we find our dharmas. This is my wish for this blog and for you and I.